One day you wake up. Everything looks fine, a day like another. The routine – the ussual chors, the ussual people. But there are some clouds and something`s gonna come. Like a flash from a clear sky, there`s something  happening, but you cannot say what. You do not expect it, you cannot prepare

There is always something happening behind our back, but we are too focused on ourselves to notice. And now – the moment, the message. Someone`s gone. Forever. Breaking in tears, breaking in a state of a state of mind which is telling you “Why didn`t you do more, express more, say more?”. But is it about the one we lost? Or is it our ego kicking, due to the fact we realize we lost one of our dearest and closest. Could I really be a better friend, better son or better grandchild? I don`t know that, but I guess I could

Having a normal day without  realising that this day could be the last one having the opportunity to say “you complete me, you are my menthor, you support me” is a bad day. Especially while having not the idea it could really happen.

I have once said, that I will never cry  again. Not because I failed to say how I really felt around , but as I failed to save the life of one dear person. This is the reason to cry, not on the official family occasion which comes ussually after on a grimm rainy day, but alone thinking it over and over again. Having the pictures in front of me. Doin the best was just not enough

Sayin farewell and payin the respect is the only valid thing we can do on this world for our dearest ones who are gone. There are still others however, to whom we may prove our love, our respect and our sacrfice because they earned it. By supporting us, by loving us, by making our childhood the best we could imagine. By beeing the lighthouse of our journey, by not leaving us out of their hearts. By sayin “you can do it” although we aren`t really able.

I never knew how I could repay this back – but belive me. I will always remember you, and always admire you, dearest grandma

Dedicated to all, who lost the one they loved

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